In one paragraph, show them what not to do. Show students some parallel examples of elaboration. Can you tell me why these lines make a foreboding feeling?” Almost every time, the student will either recognize that the text evidence does not support the topic sentence, OR the student will verbally explain to me exactly what they should have written in their paper. This is what I ask students: “You argue that the author creates a foreboding mood through elaborate setting descriptions. Then, you write that one example of how the author does this is when they were entering the catacombs. Instead of having students write their entire rough draft at once, go paragraph by paragraph, and as much as possible, give them feedback along the way. One of the reasons I love slowing down my writing units is because it gives me time to confer. Once students can correctly identify some textual evidence to support their topic sentence, it’s time to focus on elaboration in writing. Which lines best support the topic sentence? Which are the least convincing? Ask students to discuss how they would rank this evidence from strongest to weakest. Show students different examples of text evidence for an example claim and its topic sentence. Finally, you can have them finish individually if you think they are ready. Then, ask them to do the same thing for a different chunk of the text in small groups. Try working through this together as a class to begin. Have students annotate or highlight lines that would work to support the topic sentence and claim. Annotate.Īs a class, re-read the text, looking specifically for evidence that would support a claim. If students put their evidence onto a shared doc, the white board, or a sticky note, it is simple enough to rearrange in a t-chart format. Need more scaffolding? Provide the evidence, and have students sort it. Then, sort the evidence students find into solid evidence or that which is a stretch. Have students search for evidence in a whole-class text to support a claim you give them. IDENTIFYING TEXT EVIDENCE Play detective. If your students are not able to identify text evidence yet, it’s better to begin there than with support for elaboration.
However, the student was able to identify and correctly cite text evidence to support an analysis of the mood. The author uses words that create a foreboding mood.Ī couple of observations about this example…įor one, the elaboration is clearly circular and lacking. We were entering the last resting place of the dead of the Montresor family” (Poe 70). For example, the author writes, “The earth which formed the floor was cold and hard. One of the ways the author creates a foreboding mood is through elaborate setting descriptions.
Imagine you are providing feedback on an essay that reads like this: In this post, you’ll find concrete ways to make elaboration in writing more manageable for all students. Looking for ways to help students with elaboration in writing? It’s a complex skill that requires mature thinking.
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